Friday, August 28, 2009

Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones..........

We all said it as kids, or at least heard someone else say it. Maybe one child yelling it across the schoolyard playground at another child. Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me.

But, that was just a defense, wasn't it? Really those words did hurt. We just felt it necessary to put up a front and let everyone know that we were just fine. There was probably a hint of hurt in our voices as we sang that little phrase.

Sometimes words can hurt just as much as sticks and stones. They can leave emotional scars just as sticks and stones can leave physical scars.

I know physical scars can sometimes fade. If not, my knees, shins and elbows would be nothing but scars from falls, skateboard mishaps and bicycle crashes. Emotional scars can fade sometimes too. But, the memory of what caused the emotional scars do seem to stay with us longer than the memory of what caused that skinned knee or elbow.

People use words as weapons. People use words to hurt other people. To belittle other people. They can be very effective weapons. Some people just have a talent for wielding them and hitting their target dead center.

I have always tried to not use words in that way. As weapons. To hurt someone in a fight. Because they are something, that once said, can never be taken back. You have tarnished the relationship you had with the person forever. It will never be quite the same.

I also know that if someone can feel angry enough to want to hurt me with words, that they will do it again. That they will use words as a weapon again and again. Even if they are sorry afterwards

I have tried to remember that if I use words to hurt someone, that I will later regret it. That it will make me feel bad.

I also know that using negativity with someone, intentional or not, is just as hurtful as purposely using words to hurt someone you are angry with.

Especially with kids. Kids should not have to hear negativity all the time. There should be another way to present an issue in a more constructive way. Negativity weighs a person down. And negative words cannot be taken back, just like the hurtful words spoken in anger. That is something I need to work on.

Although I try not to use words to intentionally hurt someone, I realized that I sometimes use words to punish someone or to make someone realize how serious I am about something. If they hear me use words in this way, then they will know that I mean business. And they will take heed.

But, that doesn't really work either. And it only makes me feel bad for saying words I cannot take back and wish I didn't say.

Words hurt, just like those sticks and stones. Words cant be taken back. That is true. Remember that the next time you are about to let that word roll off your tongue and go flying at someone else.

2 comments:

  1. This is a profoundly true entry. I really can't say much else. I agree with every point, I have felt what you are describing, and I have caused others to feel what you are describing. Words hurt. Words can hurt more than physical pain. Thank you for the perspective.

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